加州主婦日記 Cali-housewife diary

節錄自電影對白-享受吧!一個人的旅行。

很適合正在尋找自己、拼湊自己的人們...

電影的主角是作家，也許因此，在對白的描寫上是真的很有魔力的。

----------------------------

Here's what he doesn't know yet.

I disappear into the person l love.

I am the permeable membrane.

If l love you, you can have it all.

My money, my time, my body...

...my dog, my dog's money.

I will assume your debts

and project upon you...

...all sorts of nifty qualities you've

never actually cultivated in yourself.

I will give you all this and more...

...until l am so exhausted

and depleted...

...the only way l can recover...

...is by becoming infatuated

with someone else.

--------------------

It begins when

the object of your affection bestows upon you

a heady hallucinogenic dose of something you've never

even dared to admit you wanted.

An emotional speedball

of thunderous love and excitement.

Soon you start craving that attention

with the hungry obsession of any junkie.

When it's withheld, you turn sick, crazy, 

not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged

this addiction in the first place.

Goddamn him, and he used to give it to you for free.

Next stage finds you skinny, shaking in a corner...


...certain only that you'd sell your soul...

just to have that one thing one more time.


Meanwhile, the object of your adoration is now repulsed by you.

He looks at you like someone he's never met before.

The irony is you can hardly blame him.

I mean, check yourself out. You're a mess.

Unrecognizable. Even to your own eyes.

You have now reached infatuation's final destination.

The complete and merciless devaluation of self.

-------------

有時會反省自己，是不是自己愛一個人的方式太沉重。

一定要用自己最大的努力擁有他，並且為他的未來負責，

不夠豁達嘛? 豁達應該是針對自己不能改變的事，

但是我還沒老，我仍覺得我可以改變。

仍然相信，會有那樣一個人，

可以接受我、包容我，

不會覺得跟我一起的未來，是僵持不下、失去自由。

我已經給了太多太多的自由，

足夠一個好人，有快樂的生存的空間。

所以我還是要抱持自己的信念繼續下去，

說自己"愛"一個人是很重大的事情，

愛不是說說而已，而是要被實踐、證明。

雖然我的確是一個浪漫的理想主義者，

但同時我也是一個認真的人。

This is who i am. :)